chapter one

DANG NABBIT

Enough with the begin agains.

I guess this blog just is what it is.

I suppose I don't have to be happy with all that I've written.

nor all that I've forgotten to write. 

For now, I'll just be content in letting it exist.

So instead of 'beginning again,' I'll just keep going.

And maybe, just maybe, I'll start to get the hang of this. 

Warmest of Regards,

Lauren

no hard feelings

*quiet shuffle up to clique of readers*

Oh, um, hey ya'll. Long time no see huh?

-crickets-

How about this weather we're having? Rain? Texas? July? HA

-crickets-

Haha....ha..  ha.

-crickets- 

Moving on then.

So, looking at this blog I realize that it is quite pathetic. Truly, it is.
I made most of these posts to meet deadlines & fill space.
A theme, a flow, a general direction at all?
Uh, no. Not really.
Overall they're pretty sad.

Plus this gap I've let form left a lot behind.
Coupled with my inability to ever actually post anything
(you wouldn't believe the willpower I have to muster)
results in one awkward mess.

Pulling the plug seems extreme.
Going back and deleting stuff feels fake.
Catching you up on everything sounds exhausting.

SO I'll tell yah what.
How bout' I just write?
Go crazy & throw caution to the wind.

Editing will be sparse since getting anything written at all will be a miracle.
But luckily that little voice inside of me that cares took the summer off.
And while the cat is away the mice shall play right?

WHOO! Rodent party.
Invigorating.

Warmest of regards,
Lauren  

them moves

I've gone ahead and pulled this from my own facebook page,

and now offer it to the blogging deities in a sacrifice for their entertainment.  

the dream team

It's one of those things that you can't quite decide on.

Is this movie actually really good, or is it just something I've seen enough to consider a classic?

Like Twizzlers. 

You can make it through half a bag before someone comes up to you to ask what you're eating.

Then you look down and realize- you don't actually know. 

They're chewy, they're red, they resemble the consistency of plastic. 

Is red a flavor? 

It's food right? But it can be a straw, how does it do that? 

Of course by the time you're done considering all this, 

you've made your way through the other half of the bag. 

And by that point, who freaking cares anymore. 

Now you can move on to worrying about other things, like why your weird nosey friend didn't recognize what Twizzlers look like. 

Anyway, right now I'm caught up on the movie "The Dream Team."

It's a movie I love, be it for a real reason, or simply because it's a family classic in my house. 

Either way, it has a fantastic amount of quotable material.

On that note, I conclude with one of my new favorite ad industry quotes.

(Scene background: They're at a mental hospital and Jack is one of the patients. He's a former advertising executive, that is now under the illusion that he is the son of God.)

I love yah Jack. 

Warmest of Regards,

Lauren 

pain & procrastination

Please put all electronic devices away, get out a piece of paper & a writing utensil, then as soon as you are all settled we shall begin. 

Any attempts at cheating will result in a swift swat across the back of your neck with a long stick, and if any talking takes place your work will be wrenched from your hands and thrown into the bonfire the TA is starting at the front of the class to block you from trying to make an early exit. 

Any questions?

You may begin. 

Is an un-earthly amount of work due tomorrow?

Can you feel the self loathing because it's entirely your fault it's uncompleted?

Is all of it of utmost importance to the rest of your life?

Are there not enough hours left in the day to complete it all?

Are you camped out in a study room littered with all your belongings?

Wait, is that Free Bird playing on your laptop?

What's that you're snacking on? Tortilla chips, Twizzlers, Dates, and Captain Crunch? 

Seriously. Captain Crunch, aren't you to old for that?

Hmm. Prognosis time. Lets run the scantron shall we?

 If you answered yes to all of the above questions that means:

a) IT MUST BE TIME FOR A BLOG POST

and 

b) You're clearly a really cool person. 

Really. You must be outstandingly awesome.

Well how bout' them apples- 

You can't argue with anything containing a preface that includes the removal of electronic devices. That's a sign of authenticity right there.

Sooo blog post it is. 

Annnd done.

YES that's really it. That's all I feel like writing so that's all I shall.

And no, I don't mind if you question my sanity.

Heck, I make sure to do it every day.

Though I'd rather not share the results. 

I've declared them inconclusive. 

Warmest of Regards,

Lauren 

Refresh

Well I'm back from holiday.

In some sense at least, or as 'back' as I can be.

I have yet to regain any of my pre-break optimism, charm, charisma, or style. 

*ba- dum- tish*

Yeah, no, I had a hard time typing that with a straight face. 

Honestly though, I am coming to regret the things that I have allowed to slip away during our absence. There are of course the minor things like: any and all Chinese skills, the ability to compose an e-mail, a normal sleep schedule, the vocabulary to sound like more than a third grader, all desire to be organized, etc.

But also the more serious stuff like: where I hid my umbrella, to buy extra Christmas lights before they left the stores, my mental list of what I needed to buy at Home Depot, the location of my dog's orange sweater, and how to write in something that might kind of at least resemble the english language more so than chicken scratch. 

And last but not least- 

I forgot to blog. 

Well, I say 'forgot.' 

Really I just put it on that list of things I really need to do when I get a chance, but still somehow never manage to get around to and never accomplish despite the importance of the matter.

I call it TLOTIRNTDWIGACBSSNMTGATANADTIOTM for short.

But fear not my non-existant audience, my blogging shall now resume.

 So calm down already. Sheesh. 

I know you love me, but gosh guys- pull it together. 

Finally, I'd like to draw your attention to the fact that from here on out I'll be blogging by sheer willpower. This blog was after all created to fulfill the blog requirement for my Intro. to Creativity class. So around four months, and fifty blog posts later, here I am. 

I'll be frank. There is a terrifying thrill to the idea that I might actually keep this blog up and running, not because of a class or assignment, but just because I can.

Ugh. I suppose I can't blame the bad posts on deadlines anymore. 

Well that simply won't do. It's time to go scape goat hunting. 

Warmest of Regards,

Lauren